11/04/2025

This poem came from me spending a day shaking my stimmy slug toy around and thinking that it would be interesting to incorporate the rattle sound and a rhythmic poem reading together, suitably about stimming. This is how it rested the first night:

everybody stims/ just like everybody poops/ out what they ate/ for dinner last night/ and they still hold their farts in at the function/ at the water cooler/ you wouldnt/ catch me dead/ ever wearing makeup/ I couldnt stand it/ the way it clouded up her tears/ and got cut away/ the way it smudges/ off on my skin/ and everybody knows/ that we were touching/ the way it washes off and stains/ so who do you think/ youre even kidding/ I think I saw it/ in a documentary/ where kids were rocking/ back and forth/ on metal cots/ it helps me calm down/ helps me get out/ vomit/ throw up/ in the shower/ wasnt that the most beautiful secret/ to be alone with/ until you grew up/ and found out/no ones gonna do your homework/ for you/ no ones gonna ask/ you to do/ the things that you want to do/ you have the power/ the DSM 5/ hypothesize about what it/ means to just be dumb/ maladaptive coping/ episodic loss of function/ I think I saw it on TV/ that I should be/ experimenting/ I never learnt/ from all the notes I took/ on every failing friendship/ and we dont do/ mental illness/ in this family

I have edited lots since then, it has been on/off stuck in my head. Here is the current iteration that I would be more happy to read out loud but still probably won't because it is quite negative and personal in an unflattering way:

everybody stims/ just like everybody poops out what they ate for dinner last night/ and they still hold their farts in at the workplace/ show restraint/ youll never catch me wearing makeup/ i couldnt stand it/ the way it clouded up her tears and got cut away/ the way it smudges off on my skin/ and everybody knows that we were touching/ i think i saw it in a docmumentary/ where kids were rocking back and forth/ it helps me calm down/ helps it get out/ vomit/ throw up in the shower/ secret mission/ sweet nostalgia for your first addiction/ until you grow up/ til you find out/ that no ones gonna do your homework for you/ no ones gonna ask you to do the things that you want to do/ you have the power/ the dsm 5/ hypothesise about how youre clinically just dumb/ i think i saw it on the TV/ that i should be experimenting/ i never learnt from every notebook filled/ on rehabilitation/ we dont do mental illness in this family/